I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
