So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
