Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
