I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize