no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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