sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
