idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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