Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
