smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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