She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
