I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Randomize
