like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I need moral support for this bender
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
