So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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