My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
