My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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