Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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