Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
