Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize