One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
