office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
