Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
