Where are you?
In a non slutty way
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
