the condom got lost in my hair
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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