Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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