Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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