Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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