I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My breasts were aching with rage.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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