Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
