In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize