Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
