just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
