What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
