ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
