Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I can't put those talents on a resume
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
