you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
