I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
