Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
