Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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