Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
