you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
