She is in my trunk
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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