dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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