using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
people are starting to question the shark bite story
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
