There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
