we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
