Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
