If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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