Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
