i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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