Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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