Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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