Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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