I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
