Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
