I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
