just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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