Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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