I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
