on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
