do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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