You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
