Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
