My first STD was from a foam party
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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